Chronic Pain and Relationships

“A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.”
– (A quote from the post provided below)

Please read the rest of this post by clicking this link:
http://www.theprincessinthetower.org/blog/2013/07/14/Pain-Friends-How-Chronic-Pain-Affects-Your-Relationships.aspx

**************
**The Princess in the Tower has become one of my favorite blogs. Each post is written so well, to the point where it feels like the words are literally taken out of my mouth.**

It’s not a bunch of medical mumbo jumbo, which is great! Especially for those who do not have Chronic pain,and are reading posts on that blog, so they can get a general idea of what a loved one is going through.

*For those of you who do take the time to read literature about your loved ones condition, because you genuinely care and want to help/be there for them… Thank you.*
Believe it or not, there aren’t many like you. I lost almost all of my friends. Friends that were in my life for 15+ years. One of the hardest, was my “best friend” of 16 years. I was there for her through A LOT, and did a lot for her when she needed a friend. A sister. While she was going through medical issues. I’d drop everything I was doing for ANY of my close friends. That’s just who I am.

*I don’t understand how a nice handful of “close friends” could just drop me like a bad habit… At a time when I desperately needed them. Even if it’s just to come over and watch a movie! Going through that phase in this challenge that I’m dealing with, was the most hurtful, and always will be*

With that being said, I’d like to thank my family, with the bottom of my heart.
-I know there are times when I can be … Bitchy… (Sorry, there was really no tip toeing around that one).
– I know it gets really frustrating when I forget things often.
– I know it’s not easy to see me miserable,and there’s nothing anyone can do to help.
– I could go on… But, lets keep this list to a minimum 😉

But through all of that, none of you have left. You have done the opposite. I know “that’s what families are for, to be there for each other no matter what.”

*But I’m so lucky to have you guys. I love you all so much. And I appreciate EVERYTHING you all do,even if I don’t act like it at the time. Pain like this can make you a mean person at times. But thank you for staying by my side*
I love you.

(I know, I was a wicked cute baby. That would fall asleep in my food 😛 hehe)

For those of you who are a friend/in a relationship/a loved one, to someone who has a chronic pain condition…. Please don’t run.
We need you. We need support. When you just leave us,after being in our lives for so many years… it feels like you’re stabbing us in the heart.
Trust me, we are already scared. And going through a type of pain that is debilitating, and indescribable … While doctors don’t know what to do with us..

We need any kind if normalcy we can get.

Come over and watch movies! If my pain isn’t through the roof, lets go to dinner!

What I’m trying to say, is we are still here. We are still alive. No, we are not the same people but, with your help, there’s a chance that we don’t loose hope.

Any hoot! I’ll stop now. But please check out the blog above, it truly is amazing. And it is not solely based on CRPS!

Thank you all for letting me vent… On my own blog…lol

Until next time,
Heather Lynn<3

 

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5 thoughts on “Chronic Pain and Relationships

  1. amylynniebug says:

    I wonder that so often… where/why did they all go when I was no longer able to provide the fun? Why are they shocked when they see my pic and i still “look normal”? But i have now been sick exactly half of my life & spent most of that time in bed or couch on a good day.

    I never wanted to ask for *anything*. I finally got up my nerve one night when the pain was SO bad and my parents were gone, to call a friend and ask if he’d read a chapter of a book to me. I haven’t heard from him since. Now i rent audio books and listen to them on YouTube (very helpful for migraines if you can stand a bit of sound but no light). Now with FaceBook, i think people feel like they have spent time with me if they “like” something i post. And i feel like if i say anything like “Why did you disappear?”, i’ll get yelled at.

    It’s tough, i wish i had some good answers or advice. That last bit is SO true, when you finally get to see people and are all bubbly… they think “Oh wow i guess she really is nuts! Or fibbing!” I will post this on my Wall as often as it takes for 500 people to pay attention!! Everyone these days knows someone with an Invisible Illness – i guess we need to make some noise! 🙂

    Like

    • Heather Lynn says:

      I know EXACTLY what you’re saying. Then I get crap whenever I mention the friends and support system who I’ve gotten to know through twitter/Facebook.
      The reality of it is…. The people who I’ve gotten to know online (others with CRPS), are better friends then those who I used to call my close friends. Granted, I’ve never physically met them. But, they still show more support,then anyone I grew up with.

      I’ve realized,those of us with CRPS, or other serious chronic illnesses, have an instant bond. And we instantly know that we are there for each other.

      I am going to email you, incase you don’t see this reply. Feel free to contact me anytime you need a friend <3.
      Love,
      Heather Lynn

      Like

  2. E Roy says:

    The only person I have to rely on is my son really. I have a friend who has bad depression so I understand and support her that she cant be around much. And another friend who doesnt really understand (but I can talk to her about other stuff) and lives a long way away. I have a carer and a family support worker. My family have all rejected me (partly because of the illness and partly other). I find it very difficult to make friends because they just do not see past the things that I cant do. I would have thought that since I use a wheelchair often that it would make sense to them that sometimes the house isnt as tidy as they would like it to be. Or that the new house that I live in hasnt been decorated or most of the upstairs stuff put away yet. It is such a lonely life having CFS, arthritis, fibromyalgia, a bad heart and other stuff.

    Like

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